side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
