I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
