let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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