My friends, they love my intelligence
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
