I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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