im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
It's like God shit irony all over that family
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
