And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
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he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
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And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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