I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
