I would go down on you faster than GM stock
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
