how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
