Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
