I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
