The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
