Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
