So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
