barbara walters just said penis...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
