At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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