Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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