I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
