just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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