im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize