i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
