drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
