then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
