She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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