I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
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The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
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When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The Olympian is in my bed
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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