p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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