First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
