I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
