I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Fuck appropriateness.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
