just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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