Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I don't deserve a penis
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
