I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You ate ashes out of my bong
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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