so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
