I cannot find my penis.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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