I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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