Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
