go do what you do best...puke behind churches
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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