you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
