the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
