I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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