My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
