remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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