porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize