Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
