Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
