You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
