Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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