Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
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I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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