im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
