Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
