SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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