Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
