It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
