In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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