I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
