i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
