I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
my sisters under your porch take her home
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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