There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
