I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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